Mind & Identity · 2 min
Body, shame, and the first-generation experience
Top things to know
Growing up where bodies were never discussed can leave shame attached to normal body functions.
The silence was passed down through generations, and none of it is your fault.
Body shame can show up as delayed appointments and difficulty describing symptoms.
Asking for a female clinician and writing symptoms down beforehand can make appointments easier.
Content note
This article discusses body shame, intergenerational trauma, and experiences of cultural stigma around reproductive health. Read at a pace that feels right for you.
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What messages about bodies did first-generation South Asian women grow up with?
Many first-generation South Asian women grew up in households where bodies were not discussed. Periods were whispered, puberty was handled with a cloth and silence, and fertility was something that was supposed to just happen when a woman got married.
This silence was not cruelty. It was what was passed down, often from women who had also received it in silence. But it left a generation without language for its own body, and often with an inherited sense of shame attached to its normal functions.
How does body shame affect the fertility care first-generation women receive?
Delayed presentation. Difficulty describing symptoms accurately to a doctor. Reluctance to have internal examinations. Avoidance of sexual health screening. Shame around infertility, as though it reflects on the woman herself.
None of this is rare. And none of it is your fault. Naming it is the beginning of changing your relationship with it.
What small steps help you move past body shame in a clinical setting?
Requesting a female clinician is allowed, for smears, for scans, for fertility consults. Bringing a trusted friend rather than a family member can make it easier to speak. Writing down symptoms beforehand, in English or your own language, means you do not have to find the words in the room.
You are not a bad Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, or Sri Lankan woman for asking these questions. You are a woman who has chosen to take her body seriously. That is itself an inheritance worth passing on.
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Reviewed by clinicians
Authored and reviewed by clinicians from the founding team. Information only, not personalised medical advice.
From the team behind Her Holistic Health, founded by Dr Divpreet Sacha, NHS-trained GP.