MANAM · Perinatal mental health
South Asian pregnancy, birth and new parenthood, and the mind
Manam means mind in Tamil. Also the heart, the feelings, the inner life we do not always show.
Struggling does not make you a bad parent.
A new baby changes the mind too. That is not weakness.
Why MANAM exists
The things we do not always say
There are some things people are happy to ask a new parent.
But not always:
- “Are you okay?”
- “Has the birth stayed with you?”
- “Are you frightened by your thoughts?”
- “Do you feel like yourself?”
- “Do you need someone to take over for an hour?”
For some people, pregnancy and parenthood are not only a happy beginning. They can be lonely, frightening or overwhelming. That is even harder when people around you assume you should simply be grateful, strong or quiet.
MANAM is for the conversation underneath the celebration.
Three things to hold on to
Part 2 of 5
If you have had a baby
What it can feel like, when birth stays with you, and how care after birth differs from family to family.
It is not always called postnatal depression
Mental health can change during pregnancy, after birth or in the first years of being a parent. It does not always look like sadness.
When it can appear
- PregnancyAnxiety, low mood or fear can start before the baby arrives.
- BirthA frightening or confusing birth can stay in the body and mind.
- First two weeksPostpartum psychosis, when it happens, most often begins here. It needs same-day help.
- First yearsFeelings can change for months, even after everything looked fine.
Tap a group to see what it can look like.
How you feellow, numb, angry, far away from yourself
- Feeling low, numb, tearful or far away from yourself
- Feeling angry, panicky, guilty or overwhelmed
- Feeling distant from your baby, partner or body
- Having thoughts that frighten or shame you
How you sleep and thinkworry that will not switch off
- Worrying constantly, even when everyone tells you the baby is fine
- Not being able to sleep, even when you have the chance
- Feeling frightened of another pregnancy
After a hard birth or a lossthe birth keeps coming back
- Replaying the birth again and again
- Avoiding reminders of pregnancy, hospital or birth
- Struggling after miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss or a difficult start for your baby
When birth does not leave you
A healthy baby does not automatically mean you are okay.
Birth trauma is not about whether somebody else thinks your experience looked “bad enough.” It is about what happened to you, and how it felt.
What can make a birth stay with you
How it may show up
If this sounds familiar, you deserve to talk about it. Support is available after traumatic birth, miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.
Care after birth looks different in every family
South Asian is a broad umbrella: many countries, languages, faiths, family structures and migration histories. Families may share some experiences. They will not share all of them.
Swipe for more
Traditions in the weeks after birth
When it helps
- Being fed, protected, cared for and given time to recover
- Support that feels deeply comforting
When it feels difficult
- Little privacy, or too much advice
- Family conflict, or pressure to follow rules that do not feel right
- No freedom to say you are struggling
There is no one right way to recover
Not “is this tradition modern or old-fashioned?” but “does it help you feel safer, more supported and more like yourself?”
Faith, family and what matters to you
Faith, prayer, community and family are part of how many parents make sense of pregnancy, birth, loss and recovery. Support can include them alongside midwives, health visitors, GPs, therapists and specialist care. You should not have to choose between them. You deserve care that understands:
If you are struggling, you do not have to carry it quietly to protect other people from worry. You can ask for help and keep hold of your faith, values and family life.
Part 3 of 5
Fathers and family
The people around a new parent: what fathers carry, and what to say when someone you love is struggling.
Providing is not the same as coping.
For the fathers holding it together
New fathers are often expected to keep earning, keep helping, keep everyone calm and keep going. But becoming a father can affect your mental health too. You may be dealing with:
You do not need a perfect explanation to ask for help. You can start with:“I am not coping as well as I look.”
If someone you love has just had a baby
You do not need to fix everything. You can make it easier for someone to say what is really going on.
- “You do not have to be happy every minute.”
- “You seem like you are carrying a lot. Do you want to talk?”
- “I believe you.”
- “I can watch the baby while you sleep, shower or see the GP.”
- “We can find support together.”
- “What happened in the birth sounds like it has stayed with you.”
Sometimes the best support is not advice. It is taking someone seriously.
Part 4 of 5
Be part of MANAM
Why this campaign needs to exist, the real stories it is waiting for, and how to help shape it.
Birth, safety and being heard
South Asian families are not one group and every experience is different. But inequality in maternity care and outcomes remains real.
Asian women
16.74
deaths per 100,000 women giving birth, England, 2021–23
White women
12.44
deaths per 100,000 women giving birth, England, 2021–23
Where these numbers come from
- MBRRACE-UK, Saving Lives, Improving Mothers’ Care 2025 (deaths 2021–23), Table 2.12, England data.
- The report describes this as a slightly increased risk for Asian women, about 1.3 times (RR 1.35, 95% CI 0.91–1.94), and notes the difference did not reach statistical significance.
- MBRRACE-UK perinatal surveillance of 2023 births found stillbirths rose for Asian babies while falling for others, and neonatal mortality remained highest for Asian and Black babies.
The effects of these can last long after discharge:
You should be able to
- Understand what is happening in your care
- Ask questions without being dismissed
- Be involved in decisions
- Ask for things to be explained again
- Ask for a qualified interpreter if you need one
- Tell someone if birth, pregnancy or loss is still affecting you
This is why MANAM needs to exist.
Coming soon
Real voices.
Real stories.
Breaking down the stigma.
How a story is shared on MANAM
- In your own wordsWritten or spoken. Rough is fine. We shape it with you, never for you.
- Named or anonymousYou choose how much of you appears. First name, no name, or a photo: your call.
- You see it before anyone elseNothing goes live until you have read it and said yes.
No stock photos. No invented quotes. When a story is here, it belongs to a real person who chose to share it. Meet all our community voices
The questions we never ask out loud
Send an anonymous question about pregnancy, birth, postnatal mental health, fatherhood, loss, family pressure, culture, faith or supporting someone you love. Recurring questions shape what MANAM makes next.
Start with one of these, or write your own
Ask anonymously
The questions no one asks out loud are the ones this campaign exists for.
No name, no email: we cannot see who you are, and we cannot reply to you personally. Selected questions are answered, anonymised, by clinicians in campaign content.
This is not medical advice. If you need help now, call Emergency services 999 or NHS 111 111, or speak to your GP.
Help shape MANAM
MANAM is being built with the community, not simply for it. Here is where it stands, and where you come in.
Here now
- This page
- Anonymous questions, no name or email
- The South Asian-aware support directory
Being shaped with you
- Clinician-reviewed information
- Real stories: birth trauma, fatherhood, loss, traditions
- Listening conversations and contributor opportunities
Tap the one that sounds like you. You do not need to share your story publicly to be involved.
You could:
Register your interest
Organisations, advisers and funders:Partner with MANAM
Part 5 of 5
Support should not wait
Help that is here today, and when to get urgent help.
Who you could speak to
If pregnancy, birth, postnatal mental health, trauma or loss is affecting you now:
Not sure how to start? Tap for words you can use
- “I have had a baby and I do not feel like myself.”
- “The birth is still affecting me.”
- “I am having thoughts that frighten me.”
- “I am worried about my partner.”
- “I need someone to explain what support is available.”
- “I would like an interpreter.”
When to get urgent help
If there is immediate danger, get emergency help now.
Seek urgent help now if you or someone else…
- May harm themselves or someone else
- Has thoughts of ending their life
- Is hearing, seeing, smelling or feeling things that others cannot
- Is very confused, unusually suspicious or behaving out of character
- Has not slept for days and is becoming increasingly unwell, highly energised, distressed or agitated
- Has sudden severe changes in mood or behaviour after birth
- Has frightening beliefs or thoughts about the baby and does not feel able to stay safe
The conversation starts here
A South Asian campaign about pregnancy, birth, new parenthood and the mind.
- For the mother who says she is fine because she does not know what else to say.
- For the father who thinks he has to carry everyone else.
- For the family who wants to help but does not know how.
- For anyone carrying the effects of a pregnancy, birth or beginning that changed them.
You are not weak. You are not failing. And you do not have to carry it alone.
The conversation starts on Instagram.
@appyandyaarDelivered in partnership with HHEI CIC, a multi-disciplinary hormonal health equity initiative (VCSE).